MONTICELLO — Has a child ever expressed discomfort to you about being touched by a family friend?

Have you ever been on a date and felt for any reason, like you “owed” someone sex, yet didn't know quite how to say “no”?

Have you ever stood uncomfortably by when an acquaintance implied they wanted to ply someone with alcohol so they could have sex with them?

Has your daughter or sister ever been groped without consent, and the perpetrator dismissed the action saying “boys will be boys,” or dismissed bragging about groping as “locker room talk”?

If we're not part of the solution, as the saying goes … we're complicit with perpetuating a culture of sexual assault that impacts someone every 98 seconds and is known to derail lives.

Fortunately, the Rape, Intervention, Services and Education (RISE) Program at Catskill Regional Medical Center, can help everyone navigate such scenarios.

On Saturday, April 22nd, roughly 75 participants stepped out in Monticello for the 6th Annual Walk a Mile in Her Shoes® in Sullivan County and raised more than $8,500 for RISE. Part of an international campaign that asks men to literally walk one mile in women's high-heeled shoes, the event is a way to get communities to talk about a difficult subject: gender relations and sexualized violence.

Open communication is critical to changing culture, yet sexual assault is a “taboo subject,” says Debbie O'Malley, RISE Program Manager. When hidden, sexualized violence is immune to cure.

According to RISE and the Walk A Mile In Her Shoes web site, it's difficult to get people talking: People unfamiliar with men's sexualized violence against women don't want to know it exists. It's ugly. People that have experienced sexualized violence themselves want to forget about it.

RISE provides social, emotional and problem-solving education to prevent sexual assault, as well as intervention and recovery support to survivors. RISE works through local hospitals, school districts, the community college, summer camps and local events.

In 2016, RISE served more than 200 sexual assault survivors, accompanied 29 survivors in the Emergency Department, provided 664 counseling sessions and received 900 hotline calls.

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Actions Matter: How to Confront A Perpetrator

By Willow Baum

It takes courage to speak, but only by doing so will sexual assault end. Here are five tips to help bystanders intervene in a way that fits a situation and your comfort level.

1. An acquaintance says they want to get someone drunk to have sex with them.

You enlist the help of an authority such as a bartender, and say: “Are you serious? That is not ok. That is not the way to get to know someone. If s/he is unwilling or unable to consent, that is rape.”

2. You witness someone force or manipulate another person.

You feel intimidated so you ask your friend to approach the perpetrator with you. You say: “Hands off! It's clear he/she/they don't want you touching them that way.”

3. Someone brags about their sexual conquests.

You say: “That's nasty. You want someone talking that way about your daughter / sister / mother?”

4. Someone jokes about taking sexual advantage of another person.

You appeal to their better nature, and say: “I know you know how to treat people better than that.”

5. A victim of sexual violence blames him or herself, rationalizing trauma with self-blame like I “drank too much” or “sent mixed signals” or “kind of liked” the perpetrator.

You urge the survivor to speak with a counselor about their feelings. You tell them that sexual assault disrupts lives and to call the free, confidential RISE Hotline: 845.791.9595.