In a typical year, gifts for the teacher are given around the Christmas break or even saved for the end of the year.

In case you haven't noticed, this is not a typical year. Allow me to present to you some perfect items for gifting your child's teacher this year…some very real and some, well…not so typical.

Velcro shoes: This is among the most practical gifts out there, and it's one that came at the suggestion of a Roscoe gym teacher. Don't worry. You don't have to know the teacher's size. These are for your child…so they can refasten their own shoes the requisite 16 times per day and allow school staff to remain a close social distance.

Alarm clocks: The louder, the better, these items are to be placed directly beside your children's ears and set off at least 10 minutes prior to their Zoom class. Bed ejector buttons operable by teachers from the classroom would be more effective, but alas technology has yet to catch up with us. Maybe someone can work on that…from home?

Stretch Armstrong arms: Seventies and eighties kids have fond memories of the gel-filled action figure with appendages that could stretch like rubber and bounce back. Human versions would come in handy for fulfilling 6-year-old's needs to receive hugs. If only…

Iron immune systems: Kids are germ factories. We are in a pandemic. You do the math.

Patience. Compassion. Understanding: Explanation unnecessary.