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Barry Lewis

The snowbirds are chirping

Barry Lewis
Posted 3/3/23

I hate to break this to you, but those friends and family snowbirds of yours are basking under the warm Florida sun just chuckling about the weather back home.

You know that, right?

They …

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Barry Lewis

The snowbirds are chirping

Posted

I hate to break this to you, but those friends and family snowbirds of yours are basking under the warm Florida sun just chuckling about the weather back home.

You know that, right?

They won’t tell you they’re laughing.

Never.

But they are.

Shhh. Listen.

You can almost hear the birds cackling, if it weren’t for your chattering teeth or that whipping wind outside.

Oh, they’ll call you and sound really concerned. Downright worried.

They don’t want to talk about the weather down South. They’re calling to be there for you.

“We just watched Al Roker. He said it’s cold and you’re getting some snow. Just 10 degrees? That’s in the sun? Oh, my! How much snow did you say? Oh, my! Bad winds? Oh, my! Next time you’ll have to put a heavier collar on the dog. Sounds awful, just plain awful. Here? The usual. Well, throw another log on the fire. Give the kids a big hug for us. That’ll help them defrost. We’ll see you in a month or two. June the latest. We’ll bring you back warm weather. Love ya.”

You know what they do when they get off the phone.

I can promise they’re not rushing to make airline reservations back to New York so they can help throw another log on the fire.

They’re laughing.

Not a little “tee hee hee.”

Belly laughs that have them rolling on the floor.

They’re clutching their sides, tears flowing, teeth falling out.

When they finally gather their wits and their choppers, they’re phoning their fellow flock of snowbirds who just got off the phone with their kids.

Then the laughing starts up all over again as they share bad-weather-up-North stories in a can-you-top-this game that’s played from Bonita Springs to Boca Raton.

“I spoke to my daughter in Monticello — would you believe another 6 inches and the kids have no school again?”

“That’s nothing. I called my kids up in Roscoe — over a foot they got. I would die. It’ll take them days to dig out.”

“What are you two talking about? My son’s in Honesdale. Can’t leave his house. Snow won’t be gone until July. So, you wanna go to Publix?”

An hour later, they’re having the early bird special at the Golden Corral, finishing in time to catch the weather on the five o’clock news.

You keep insisting to your snowbird parents to Zoom so they can see the grandkids. They keep telling you no, because it’s too hard to figure out.

Now you know the truth. It’s so you don’t get to see them smirking by the pool while they tell you it’s really not that much warmer down South.

Of course it’s not all fun and frolic under the Florida sun for the snowbird Sullivanites.  

As much as they relish when Roker tells them about the Arctic blast moving across the country and the Snowmageddon that’s blanketing the Northeast - they do - they can’t help but complain when skies turn overcast and their thermometer dips below 60.

“It’s so nice down here; why ya’ wearing a turtleneck and a jacket?” asks a pale looking guy in sandals, shorts and an “I Don’t Have to Shovel Sunshine” t-shirt to a tanned snowbird at the Publix wine aisle.

“Nice? It was 56 this morning. Doubt it’ll break 70.” 

“It was 5 degrees when I left New York and we had a few inches of snow. This is my week to warm up.”

“That’s winter in New York,” answered the snowbird. “Cold with snow. This is Florida. It should be warm.”

“It’s warm now,” said the tourist, grabbing a chilled Riesling. “You don’t need a jacket.”

The snowbird smiled. It’ll be 80 soon enough.

 

Barry Lewis is a longtime journalist and author who lives with his wife Bonnie in the Town of Neversink. He can be reached at      barrylewisscdemocrat@gmail.com.

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