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Hope for the Day

Fear, the great destroyer of intimacy

Diane Houghtaling
Posted 10/28/22

Many would say that Covid is the great destroyer of life as we knew it a few short years ago. Millions around the world still grieve the loss of loved ones they never got to hold or say good-bye to …

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Hope for the Day

Fear, the great destroyer of intimacy

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Many would say that Covid is the great destroyer of life as we knew it a few short years ago. Millions around the world still grieve the loss of loved ones they never got to hold or say good-bye to as they died alone. Many have lost their businesses and livelihoods as a result of Covid lock downs.

Many had to start working from home, children had to attend school remotely, and we had to learn how to have church online experiences. The virtual began to replace reality. We were told we could not even have our family get-togethers for holiday meals. We weren’t allowed to touch, hug or be near our loved ones. Eventually we didn’t even look or smile at anyone anymore, as we weren’t quite sure who was behind the masks.

Slowly fear of Covid was replaced by fear of people who had now become the enemy. We had to be sure not to get near anyone, leaving at least six feet of space between us and them. We couldn’t take the chance of catching and spreading this dreadful disease that could kill us all.

Thus fear became the great destroyer of any intimacy we had known before. It tried to steal our intimacy not only from friends and acquaintances, but also from those we loved – family, friends and church families. But this isn’t the first time fear has been known to destroy intimacy.

It started at the beginning of time, with Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, a paradise of intimacy they knew with one another and with God. When sin entered the world, it ushered in fear. After Adam and Eve gave into the temptations to listen to the enemy’s lies and disobeyed the God they loved, they suddenly were afraid of Him. They had spent time each day walking and talking with God, and now they hid from Him.

When God called out to them, they did not respond with the loving intimacy they had known with Him before. Adam called out that when they heard God coming, they were afraid and hid from Him. Their sin of disobedience had brought about fear of punishment, and destroyed the intimacy they had known. And we are still running and hiding from God because of sin and fear of punishment.

The Bible tells us to fear the Lord, but also tells us that God desires to have an intimate relationship with each of us. How can this be? We need to have a correct understanding of what it means to fear the Lord. 

Proverbs 10:27 gives us this biblical perspective in the Amplified version. It says, “The [reverent] fear of the Lord [worshiping, obeying, serving and trusting Him with awe-filled respect] prolongs one’s life.” The fear of the Lord has nothing to do with punishment and being afraid of Him, but talks of how our attitude towards Him should be. 

Proverbs 1:7 (AMP) says “The [reverent] fear of the Lord [that is, worshiping Him and regarding Him as truly awesome] is the beginning…of knowledge.” The better we know someone, the more we will love them and desire to have an intimate relationship with them. So let’s not let the fear of punishment destroy our intimacy with God, for He is always willing to forgive.

Hope Ministries is a Christian counseling center, and we are here to help. If you would like to speak confidentially with someone, give us a call at 845-482-5300.

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