Have you ever told someone about a goal or dream of yours and their response was all of the reasons why it might not work out? Having a support system is crucial to successfully reaching our goals, and supporting one another is a tricky subject. It’s easy to confuse support with responses that hold our loved ones back. 

Striving to achieve a new goal, better ourselves, or improve our health puts us in a vulnerable position. Any time we aim to change, we are subject to the possibility of failure. While our instinct may be to stay in our comfort zone and protect ourselves, we know that we feel more fulfilled and energized in life when we take risks and grow. In order to approach this vulnerable place, we need a support system. 

As a supporter, it’s important we encourage those we care about to continue moving toward their goals. If a person shares their goals with you, chances are they have seriously considered what they want and their approach before sharing it with you. 

One of the best ways to be supportive and build trust between the two of you is to ask the other person if they’d like your feedback on what they are sharing with you, or if they’d just like you to listen. 

A simple question like that may feel odd to ask, but it gives the person with the goal the opportunity to receive the type of support they’re looking for. It’s easy to project our own thoughts, feelings, and fears onto someone else’s goal. When we do this, it can cause them to lose confidence in themselves and not feel heard, which holds them back. 

Even if you may not think their goal is realistic or their approach will work, it’s important we wait for an appropriate time to bring up our concerns. If the person is just looking for you to listen at that moment, do so. 

After actively listening, a great way to dive into a deeper layer of understanding of our friend’s goals and dreams is to ask them if we can ask some questions to further understand their vision. This allows them to open up because of the opportunity to be heard and understood. 

If we just go ahead and share our opinions without asking questions, they are more likely to feel defensive and unsupported. Sharing our opinions may make us feel better, but it’s not actually supportive to them.

Once we’ve established the type of support our friend is looking for, it’s important to respect their wishes. Being heard and understood is one of our biggest needs as humans, so it’s important we consciously give that to each other. If they want you to listen, listen. If they are open to questions and feedback, approach with an open mind. 

We all have different lives, medical histories, schedules, timelines, priorities, and preferences that influence the path we choose. 

There rarely is a universal right or wrong answer when it comes to achieving health-related goals, so respect their process, be kind, and support others in the way you’d like to be supported.