It’s come to my attention that gems, diamonds perhaps, of precious conversation between myself and The Huz (my husband) might be worth sharing. The Huz is a singer. You may know him. His name is Andre Turan and he sings ‘the greatest songs’ from the ‘50’s to present. The Huz is my nickname for him that he knows little about since he doesn’t read my column. 

Our conversations, like most couple’s exchanges, are about daily life. Here’s one that occurred while hanging art:

“Could you please hand me the artwork by your foot,” I say while uncomfortably squished between table and wall where I’ve just randomly banged a hook into said wall. 

“This?” asks The Huz lifting a random pile of paper pads wrapped in plastic. (He’d never question the hanging of paper pads on the wall. In fact, he’d think that was my latest artistic expression). 

“No. The artwork.” I say pointing to the professionally executed piece of art.

“This?” It looks like a pizza box,” The Huz comments. 

“It’s not a pizza box. It’s a wood block print of my childhood dreams inspired by one of my Yarnslinger stories, and crafted by Monique of Ant Hill Farm. Pizza box? Did I miss something?” I take a long look as I fix the work onto the hook. I’m trying to understand how he sees in it a pizza box. Note to self: Oh, it’s a red print on a white paper. This is why I travel solo to art openings. 

About my pants, which I’ve sewn from scratch, and have knee patches for gardening.

“Wow! I just realized I’ve been accidentally wearing my pants backwards all day long.” I laugh at myself as I recall going to the grocery store and talking in person to friends throughout the day with prominent knee patches in the crook of my knee rather than in the front where they belong. 

“With those pants, how can you tell?” asks The Huz who’s at the sink washing dishes. He’s serious, and seriously might also wear his pants backwards someday, but for a different reason. He might actually think they go that way.  

Here’s his response after thirty years of marriage and the bringing home of something he knows by now I don’t eat. “Okay. So I’ll have some coffee and then I’ll go exchange what I thought would make you happy.”

“Getting gigs is like hunting,” The Huz blurts out before closing the door to his office. I imagine him in there with a rifle about to shoot a nightclub.

While removing Brussel Sprouts from the stalk: When God made Brussel Sprouts he said, “I’m gonna make you work for your gas.”

On cats and humans: “Humans are only here to take care of cats.” We have a stray right now that I diligently take care of. Even built it a house.

“What’s your day going to be like?” I ask only to get the skinny on his schedule so I can extract help from him on as many chores as possible, such as moving the furniture, cleaning the kitchen, vacuuming, etc. He sometimes asks the same, not to get favors from me, but to make sure I’m busy, and don’t interrupt him. My answer to what I’m doing for the day is always, “Stuff!” His is always, “Workin’” delivered in a tone that says, don’t ask, and def don’t bother me. 

Upcoming shows for Andre Turan can be found at https://andreturan.wixsite.com/singer. And if you’re in Callicoon on St. Patrick’s Weekend, The Huz will be performing sets of traditional Irish tunes and classic rock at The Creek House Grill at 19 Lower Main on March 15th from 7-9pm. Shameless promotion. I admit it, but weren’t the gems of conversation have their price.

RAMONA JAN is the Founder and Director of Yarnslingers, a storytelling group that tells tales both fantastic and true. She is also the roving historian for Callicoon, NY and is often seen giving tours around town. You can email her at callicoonwalkingtours@gmail.com.