As I approach my 70^th birthday, I have been thinking about my long life, the many ups and downs, and the years I spent searching for hope. We live in a hurting world surrounded by suffering people who have no hope, and I was one of them.

I am no stranger to pain, as I spent many years of my life plunged into a deep pit of despair and depression. Soon after my marriage to my loving, devoted husband, this Vietnam veteran became a stranger to me. Our children were born within the first two years of marriage, and my babies were what kept me going.

I understand the pain of rejection, loneliness, divorce, and being a single mother. I have dealt with the bondages of codependency, a victim mentality, control, and feeling worthless. I spent many years feeling so lost and hopeless that I thought I would never have another happy day for the rest of my life.

During the six years my husband and I were divorced, my quest was to find lasting peace, enduring hope, and someone who would love me and fill the hole in my heart. But I searched in all the wrong places. Every time I thought I’d found some peace, something to hope in, it was short lived and soon vanished, and my darkness only got darker. 

I thought maybe religion could be the answer, but I wanted something that lasted beyond Sunday morning. I needed something that I could center my life around, a belief that mattered and made a difference in my life. I wanted to be able to live out what I believed. So, my search continued.

I am happy to tell you that my story didn’t end there. When I was at the bottom of my pit without the strength to try even one more time to reach up for help, God shined His light into my heart and broke through my darkness. I was introduced to Jesus, my Lord and Savior. 

As Jesus taught me how to have an intimate relationship with Him, He poured His unshakeable, compassionate, perfect love into my broken, wounded heart to bring healing, deliverance, restoration, and wholeness. Jesus gave me new life, ever increasing faith, hope that grows stronger each year, and His peace that is beyond understanding.

But God didn’t end there. At the same time, He was also shining His light into my husband’s darkness, bringing healing and restoration to Him too. God put our marriage and family back together. He taught us how to love each other with His love. 

It took a while to work through our issues and as we’d gone through many years of painful experiences, but God was so faithful to work all things out for good. He brought joy to our lives and marriage. As we share our life experiences with others who are hurting, they know we understand what they’re going through and have found answers they may be searching for. We continue to pass on to others the hope in Jesus that we’ve found, the hope that changed our lives.

So I leave you with one of my favorite scriptures: Romans 15:13. “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

Hope Ministries is a Christian counseling center, and we are here to help. If you would like to speak confidentially with someone, give us a call at 845-482-5300.