We bump into our neighbor who wonders what we thought of the bear?

The bear?

“The bear that went across your lawn,” she says. “You didn’t see it? It was just the other day. Right in the middle of the afternoon. Little black thing. Cute. You really didn’t see it?”

A bear on our lawn.

I was impressed.

And disappointed.

I’ve never seen a bear in person. Not without bars. Wonder if it was attracted to the wood-carved bear we got a few years ago outside Lake George. It’s by our steps holding a welcome sign. I put a Mets hat on it in the summer and a Santa hat in winter. Maybe it’s a fellow Mets fan seeking solace after another frustrating season. Maybe it thought the wood bear was female. Or male. Whatever. I’m open-minded. I wonder if it’ll come around again.

My wife had a different thought.

“You’ll have to do something about the bear,” Bonnie said.

“I’m sorry?”

“The bear. You’ll have to do something about it.”

“Really? Do something about the bear?” Hhhmmm.

Had she increased my life insurance policy that much?

She talked as if there was some bear repellent. Maybe I could just grab a swatter.

Forgetting the obvious risks, I reminded Bonnie of how well I deal with much smaller unwanted guests. Like mice. It’s a production.

To catch one, I put on gloves and dab peanut butter on a trap. The gloves are so I don’t touch the trap. Once the mouse is caught, I arm myself with longer fireplace gloves, goggles and an extra-long screwdriver to flick the trap onto a snow shovel. Then, with arms extended, I walk the long green mile to the woods - careful never to look directly at the trap before tossing the mouse.

There are still plenty of things about country living I don’t understand. But even I can grasp that you don’t get rid of a bear by dabbing peanut butter on a trap. Even with gloves and goggles.

Needing some expert advice I went to the New York State Department of Environmental Conservation website. That’s where DEC Commissioner Basil Seggos warns, “New York’s black bear populations remain robust, particularly in the Catskill region.” And he encourages New Yorkers to reduce the potential for conflicts with bears. 

This seems like very sound but obvious advice, as the website notes that black bears are large - an average adult male weighs about 300 pounds while females average about 170 pounds.

For the record, I have no conflict with bears. Unless they’re Yankee fans. But even then I’d keep my opinions to myself.

The DEC says that roughly 80% of human-bear conflicts are resolved with some simple advice on how to follow the “BearWise” basics: If you encounter a bear in an enclosed area, give it a clear escape route and back away from the bear. 

My opinion, if you don’t, you deserve to be lunch.

If you come across a bear in your backyard, you should, from a safe distance, make loud noises, shout, or bang pots and pans together to scare away the bear. I’ve been known to do the same thing when I come across a mouse, a really large wasp or neighborhood children. 

The DEC says that when the bear leaves, remove potential attractants such as garbage, bird seed, or pet food - and ask your neighbors to remove attractants. Not a problem, as I believe they are to blame for the mice, wasps and neighborhood children.

Finally, check your yard for bears before letting out your dog. Given her size, a bear might mistake out Bitsy as an hors d’oeuvre. Like a Maltese-in-a-blanket.

DEC experts said bears are food driven, and with changing weather patterns, food scarcity is becoming a growing issue, adding that bears that were once contained to the woods could start traveling farther to find resources. If you see a bear before it notices you: stand still, don’t approach and enjoy the moment. Then move away quietly in the opposite direction.

That works for mice, large wasps and pesky neighborhood children.

Barry Lewis is a longtime journalist and author who lives with his wife Bonnie in the Town of Neversink. He can be reached at      barrylewisscdemocrat@gmail.com.