I first met Maria at a special nursery school for developmentally disabled children. It was obvious right away that her son, Eddy was seriously disabled. We mothers were going for coffee after dropping off our kids and I invited Maria to come with us.  This was her first time there and  she seemed very grateful for the invitation.  At the coffee shop Maria shared with us what she had been told by a doctor in the hospital the day Eddy was born.

“Your son must be institutionalized. He will never be more than a vegetable.” That man must have believed in shock treatment in addition to pushing his beliefs onto her. Days later when I went to Maria’s home, I saw the sign she had on her kitchen wall - Expect Miracles!

And, according to Maria, these miracles began to happen. Eddy began to feed himself. That was due to some very tough actions on the part of Maria. She put the food on his plate along with a spoon  but did not feed him any of it. She described this to me as one of the hardest things she ever had to do. After about an hour and some loud noises of protest from her son, Eddy began to feed himself. He ate every bit of it. 

He learned to sit in a chair and to walk. These too were miracles. AND from the noises and actions from Eddy, you could tell, he was happy. Sometimes I would get a phone call from Maria, telling me with great joy that Eddy had said a word, which was HI.  

Doctors had misdiagnosed Maria when she was pregnant with Eddy, saying she had a thyroid condition. Later it was determined that her problem was with the pituitary gland. That gland is in the center of your head so there is seldom ever a problem with it. When there is a problem, it affects growth.  Hands and feet become enlarged  and even facial structure is affected.  Maria had been a very pretty woman so all of this must have been hard for her to deal with, but having it affect her unborn child was the hardest of it all.  

As troublesome things were for Maria and her family ,she was constantly helping others.  When we arrived  at Maria’s home after  being to a doctor in New York City, I was surprised to see a retarded man sitting with Maria’s other two sons, who were about 10 and 12. The man was 40 years old and was able to help Maria with household chores and to intercede when her other two sons got into a hassle. Maria told me that she had never met his family and just knew that they lived in the neighborhood.  The man would just come knocking on her door and would ask if she needed any help.  It was something for him to take pride in and a way to earn a little money on his own.                  

 Maria’s husband, Eddy, Sr. is of Irish desent and I once overheard someone ask him if he minded assuming the responsibility of caring for all these immigrants and the loss of privacy. Eddy responded by saying he would be lonely without all of those people. I know it must have been hard on him at times, but I never heard him complain. I think he cooperated with her on this because of his high regard for her. Besides being landlady, chauffeur, adviser, babysitter, interpreter and employment agent, she is a true friend to them all. It was once estimated by someone who knew her well, that she had found jobs for over 200 people.  

In my next column I will write more about Maria because I found a note to myself that I want her grown children to know what a spectacular person she was. Most of it they already know, but there may be some incidents that they are unaware of.