As I mentioned in my last column, my friend Maria was a firm believer in Miracles.  Even though a doctor had told her that her son, Eddy should be institutionalized because he’d never become more than a vegetable, Maria was determined never to do that. I had never heard of a doctor using those words; but only people who didn’t know any better.

On Maria’s kitchen wall was a plaque with the words: Expect a miracle. She didn’t get the one she expected but there were many she did.  Eddy learned to feed himself- a miracle, Eddy learned to sit at the table without sliding off the chair- a true miracle,  He is happy.  I know this because of his squeals of delight and that is another miracle. I read again an article from the Reader’s Digest:  “I am Joe’s pituitary gland.  While injuries to me are rare, tumors are less so but the range can be startling. Amid all this wreckage, Joe’s heart would labor even harder and eventually give up.” 

I knew Maria now had spells when she was  temporarily paralyzed.  She knew that she was approaching the end of her life. She Christmas shopped in July, took her sons to the dentist, to the eye doctor, to get their eyes checked, to get their yearly checkups, before they were due for them and finally, though I never thought I’d see the day, since her husband was now on the board of directors, for Spectrum for the Disabled, she placed Eddy on the waiting list to become a resident there.  

As she predicted, Eddy outlives her and spends another five years there, with Eddy Sr. visiting him every week, with a bagel for him, which was a favorite of his. He also got to keep his tricycle there and spend time on the swings.

Maria spent long hours helping other people at the end of her life which kept her from agonizing over her approaching death. She knew, at the end that no one in the family could be expected to care for Eddy the way she had so she was forced to adjust her thinking about that. For many years Maria was my best friend and the one I most admired. She  died over 25 years ago and I still miss her greatly.