‘Ronno’ was the nickname of David Bowie’s lead guitarist, Mick Ronson, a small but tightly muscled mousy-haired fellow who eventually had to bleach his hair and wear make-up to stay in the band. Ronno (now deceased) was part of The Spiders from Mars that toured with Ziggy Stardust and beyond, although in the end their split was less than happy. Before playing in Bowie’s band, Ronno was a landscaper by profession and a guitarist on the side. He had to be convinced to join The Spiders because he had already dedicated himself to a variety of bands that didn’t make it. 

Much of Ronno’s musicianship defined Bowie’s harder edged rock sound, and in my opinion, Bowie needed it. Otherwise, Bowie was far too cabaret. Now that you know a bit about Mick Ronson, here’s how I ended up living with his ‘twin’, a female groupie, without knowing it until it was too late.

My Manhattan apartment at 65 W. 85th Street was a one bedroom fourth floor walk-up.  In the ‘80’s one bedroom apartments often meant that the landlord halved an already small room by erecting a wall smack down the middle and then carving out a tiny kitchenette and an even smaller bathroom from what was probably once a couple of closets.  

Even though my apartment was rent-controlled, rents were rising and salaries falling. During the Regan era, I could barely survive in NYC working fulltime. I managed to further divide the apartment using a folding screen and advertised for a roommate by taping handwritten signs (the kind with pull tabs with my phone number) to various poles around the city. Someone should have told me not to do that.

Kerry, an almost forgettable blonde with a shag haircut, answered my ad. She was quiet and quite reserved. Every day, she ate only one peanut butter and honey sandwich on thick whole wheat bread. Like all of us, she was broke. I was happy to have a demure roomie until she told me why she came to NY; to track down Mick Ronson and rescue him from his failing career. 

First thought: Did Ronno know his career was failing? 

“I’m his twin,” she said as she held up various pictures of him next to her face, “He needs me onstage with him. Only I can save his career; his music.” As far as twins went, sure, Kerry’s hair style copied Ronno’s, otherwise there was little resemblance. But that didn’t really matter to Kerry who was convinced that Ronno was her soul love. 

At the time, I was playing at Max’s, CBGB’s, The Ritz and more in my band Dizzy and the Romilars on the same nights Ronno was playing bigger and better venues. Secretly taking advantage of my absence, Kerry stole into my closet and slipped into my trendier clothes in hopes of nabbing Ronno. One outfit that she particularly favored was my black and white zebra striped mini-dress. I found out by catching her in the act, but I digress.

Kerry believed that she and Ronno were destined to make more than just music history together. However, she didn’t play an instrument and had yet to meet the guy. I soon realized that I was basically residing with a wannabe Lady Stardust who happened to be in a perpetual Moonage Daydream, but weren’t we all living the dream?

I highly doubted that Ronno wanted to get into another relationship mostly because he was already married, had two girlfriends and a child or two from each union. After stalking him for months and receiving nothing but outright rejections, Kerry up and left for good. I was glad to see her go, but ended up wishing she were back when my next roommate robbed me of all my family’s heirloom jewelry.  From that point forward, getting a second job to avoid further co-habitations was all I could do to hang on to myself.

RAMONA JAN is the Founder and Director of Yarnslingers, a storytelling group that tells tales both fantastic and true. She is also the roving historian for Callicoon, NY and is often seen giving tours around town. You can email her at callicoonwalkingtours@gmail.com.