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The great weather conspiracy

Kathy Werner
Posted 9/29/23

This column was written by my son Michael Werner, who is a bus driver, writer, and standup comedian.   Enjoy.


In this mixed-up world full of different opinions, different …

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The great weather conspiracy


This column was written by my son Michael Werner, who is a bus driver, writer, and standup comedian.  Enjoy.


In this mixed-up world full of different opinions, different beliefs, and different backgrounds, you are bound to hear some things that don’t seem to ring true on a day-to-day basis. Then every so often there is something you hear that is so absolutely absurd, you decide to tell everyone you know about it.

I was recently driving a charter for a nearby school.  It was a pretty routine job. Generally, the teacher or teachers on the charter sit near the front of the bus. That was the case on this trip. 

 One teacher began to speak to the other and opened that always popular can of worms about how we need to change things politically. Mmmm ok, not something I would bring up at my job, but go ahead, buddy.

I don’t write people off for their party affiliation, but I do have a mental time limit for listening to these sorts of conversations and the clock was ticking. I slowly began to tune out the conversation, but then this compelling phrase was spoken: “I don’t know if you also noticed this, but the government changed our weather back in late 1998.”

My ears perked up. What’s that you say?

Part of my physical exam each year to be a CDL driver is a hearing test. I always get a perfect score, and it is especially useful at moments like this.

Let’s think back to 1998. Michael Jordan captured his 6th NBA championship. The New York Yankees were looking a little better than they did this season. Yet while we were all distracted by day-to-day life, the weather was forever changed. 

How could we have been so blind to it? Perhaps because it is completely impossible?  Just a guess.

Nonetheless, this individual went on to explain how we used to have a “crisper” fall and far less rain and now we generally only have a “snow season” and a “rain season.”  

Wait. What?

I tried to imagine how this idea grew in his brain to the point where he felt it was valid and well worth sharing with people around him.  It should be noted the term “climate change” was not mentioned. According to this individual, the government decided in 1998 to change our weather.

This raised many questions for me. Does the “deep state” have a list of options they chose from? What prompted them to “change our weather”? Was it a local or a federal decision? Why have no politicians promised to change it back? Is it like the nuclear codes where someone knows the weather codes and can influence the humidity, cloud coverage, and fog? 

Then I wondered how many people he has told this very reasonable belief to.

Don’t get me wrong: I am not one to dismiss a good conspiracy theory and have gone down a few rabbit holes in my time.  

YouTube is a great place to dig up such life-changing “secrets” and conspiracies. There are so many and some far more credible than others, but this was easily the greatest and most fantastical claim I may ever hear.

I love my job.


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