This past fall, my husband and I took a day trip to Long Island. While I attended a baby shower, he found a nearby beach to explore. When he came back to pick me up, he mentioned that he gathered some small rocks to bring home. Little did I know, those rocks would teach me a lot about the role of self-belief and self-doubt in our own success.

The rocks have lived on our kitchen island since the day we brought them home. They are pretty small, with the largest one fitting nicely in the palm of my hand. Since they joined the counter decor, both of us took many turns attempting to stand them from largest to smallest. We experienced failure after failure. A couple of months had gone by, and I started to believe stacking the rocks successfully was impossible. 

Then, one day while my mom was over at our house, she successfully stacked all of the rocks! Cosmos and I couldn’t believe it. For all of the times we tried, neither of us had been able to do it. Shortly thereafter, she successfully stacked them again. And again. And again. Our family group chat is filled with photos of my mom’s rock stacking success. 

I was baffled. Why could she do it, but I couldn’t?

Despite my repeated failure, I kept trying. A few weeks ago, I was home alone, sitting at my kitchen island watching videos on Instagram. I started stacking the rocks without paying much attention. Once the first four were stacked, I started to realize what I was doing. In the past, it was very challenging to get that fourth rock to stay. On that day, it was effortless. Without thinking too much or putting pressure on myself, I picked up the second smallest rock and carefully placed it on top. It stayed. I repeated the same thing with the tiniest rock, and I had successfully stacked all of them for the first time! I was elated, and immediately needed to send a photo to the family group chat to mark my achievement. 

The next day, the bottom four rocks remained stacked, but the top two fell off. With ease, I stacked them again in one try. I thought, why is it so easy now, but was so difficult for so long? In my reflection, I believe there are a few factors contributing to this. 

The first factor is belief. For a long time, I didn’t fully believe it was possible to stack the rocks. In fact, I actively doubted that it was possible. It wasn’t until I decided that it was possible and that I could do it that my success became a reality. Secondly, up until my first success, I’d been putting so much pressure on myself to stack them perfectly. My body was very tense every time I tried, and I got very frustrated with myself when I failed. It was as if I was preparing myself to fail, instead of expecting to succeed. 

When it comes to our health, these same factors apply. While it may take longer than we’d like to start seeing the results of our actions, we also must believe our success is inevitable. We must remove expectations and pressure on the outcome, and just be present in the moment. Only when we are able to take the necessary action steps with full belief in ourselves and without pressure can we be successful. 

I’m grateful to the rocks on my counter for reminding me of this lesson, and showing me that with a little belief and a lot less pressure, anything is possible. 

Xoxo

Coach Maggi