Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you wish you didn’t say yes to attending an event or doing a favor for someone else? Receiving invitations and opportunities to help others usually sound exciting in the moment, but when the time comes to actually fulfill the promise you’ve made, it doesn’t always feel like it’s still the best use of your time or energy. It is then we are faced with a challenging decision: do we stick to our commitment, or change our mind?

 A few weeks ago I received an invitation in the mail to go to a party for someone close to me. I opened my calendar, saw that our weekend was free, and sent in my “yes” RSVP. We haven’t been to this person’s new home yet, and I was looking forward to going to the event when I committed to it. Two days before the event, my husband and I faced some unexpected stress. Technically, our calendar was still clear for the weekend, we had someone to watch our dogs, and were free to go to the party. The event was a six hour drive each way, and I started to feel unsure if going was in our best interest. It’s at this moment I always experience the most anxious thoughts and feelings. I don’t like letting people down, especially when I say I will do something. 

 I knew that we would be fine if we still decided to go. We would most likely have a good time and enjoy spending the weekend together, even though much of it would be spent in the car. I always feel good about seeing people I care about, even when I am not feeling my best, so I knew I wouldn’t necessarily regret it if we decided to go. On the flip side, our health and business goals at the moment require us to be at our best. This means being as well rested as possible and able to recover from stressful situations quickly. Although we could have gone to the party like I had committed to, it would have set us back on our goals. As much as I wanted to go, I knew at that moment that the right decision for me, for my husband, and for us would be to stay home. We couldn’t afford to handle any more stress at that time, even if it only came in the form of a long drive and a weekend away from home.   

 While I was upset to have to back out on my commitment, as soon as I did it I knew I made the right decision. After communicating that we would no longer be able to make it, my anxiety instantly subsided and I felt relieved. Reflecting back on the weekend, staying home was definitely the right choice. We were able to get good nights of sleep, prepare ourselves for the upcoming week, and prioritize our health in ways we wouldn’t have been able to while traveling. 

 Sometimes, we have to go back on our word. I don’t like to do it and I try to avoid it at all costs, but it’s important that we prioritize taking care of ourselves when we can. In a situation where my presence was more necessary or impactful, I would have taken on the stress and went. In this particular situation, the costs of going outweighed the benefits, and I had to choose to put myself, my family, and my goals first. Choosing ourselves can be challenging, but it’s important we learn when it is necessary to do so, even if that means changing our mind.