We all know people who argue with the word, no. It’s hard enough standing up to those types, even harder when you, yourself, have trouble saying “no” to begin with. Here’s a list of some fun and creative ways to say “no” given to me by a person who also once couldn’t easily say the word, but now seems cured. 

• No thank you

• Thanks, but no thanks

• I haven’t the time

• Not really

• Not interested

• Appreciate it, but no

• Unacceptable

• Uh uh

• Nope

• No way

• No way, Jose

• Never

• Never in a million years

• No ma’am

• No sir

• No siree

• Not at this time

• That’s OK

• I’ll pass

• Not right now

• I decline

• Not a chance

• Absolutely not

• Are you for real?

• No dice

• You must be kidding

• Are you kidding?

• Impossible

• No, no Nanette

• I can’t

• Not till hell freezes over

• Have enough on my plate

• Not ever

• Heaven forbid

• Not able to

• Please don’t ask me

• Sorry, but no

• No can do

• I simply cannot

• WHAT?

• It’s against my religion

• Forget about it

• Certainly not

• Too busy

• It’s illegal

• Have to let you down

• Try me another time

• Wish I could say, yes

• So sorry, but I must decline

• No

When faced with someone who just won’t accept “no” for an answer, I’ve actually taken this list out and gone down the phrases until one sticks. It’s a joy. Here’s an example:

“Would you like to see Dune tonight?”

“Heaven forbid!”

“What do you mean?

“I mean, no”

“Why not? I hear it’s a great movie.”

“That’s OK.”

“What do you mean that’s OK?”

“I mean, no.”

“Why? That doesn’t make any sense. Pleeeease!”

“No”

“Oh, pleeeease! Won’t you just go with me?”

“I’m not interested.”

“But didn’t you read the book? 

“I have enough on my plate”

“At least look at the trailer.”

“Nope.”

“Ah, come on! Be a go-with girl.”

“Thanks, but no thanks.”

And so on…You get the picture. Exhaust them with the list. Works every time. 

RAMONA JAN is the Founder and Director of Yarnslingers, a storytelling group that tells tales both fantastic and true. She is also the roving historian for Callicoon, NY and is often seen giving tours around town. You can email her at callicoonwalkingtours@gmail.com.