The Bicycle Ballyhoo began in ‘75 in an elevator at The Hotel Bretton Hall on 86th and Broadway, when Didier Bacri turned to me and said, “You should get a bicycle.” And I did. Under his direction, I went to the Upper East Side and purchased a Chi-Chi priced Le Jeune (translation: the young), a French racing bike.

After years of riding hunched over on the Le Jeune, it was stolen right from under my Upper West Side apartment marking the end of the lock-your-bike-outside era. At first, I considered hightailing it to the Lower East Side and buying it back for $25 from the thief who took it. But no, the man did me a favor. I was now forced to check out the new bike shop on Columbus Avenue. One look at me and the salesgirl, who didn’t speak English, began clucking her tongue and wagging her head ‘no,’ before selling me a 26” mixed frame, Trek. 

Until today, her pantomimed ‘no’ remained a mystery. But after 40+ years of riding said bike, the mystery was solved at Sawmill Cycles in Honesdale. I am between bike sizes 24” and 26”. No wonder the Trek has always felt too big. Will just one manufacturer come up with something in between, like a 25”? Hello. Million dollar idea here. Ride it to the bank.

At Sawmill, I requested a proper fit and an ‘easy step-through’ because I no longer wished to lift my leg like a dog to mount anything. Having sold much of their stock over the holiday weekend, however, Sawmill had neither, and so I began an intensive internet search and found the brand, Biria, and a dealership in Buffalo, NY.

Adam from South Buffalo Wheelhouse convinced me to forget about the Biria, and get a Townie, instead. “You’ll love it! It’s great for small women like you, and it’s only $750, plus tax and shipping, and assembly at your bike shop.” But I wasn’t about to blow money I didn’t have on a bike I’d never ridden, and so I again consulted the internet, and found a used Townie in New Paltz for $200. But it was big and purple. Next to pink, not my color. But as we all know, beggars can’t be choosers.

“It was my daughter’s bike,” explained the owner who happened to be a professional skydiver. I took the bike for a spin and, when it refused to change gears, decided it was not my bike. 

While in New Paltz, I fed ‘the huz’ (that’s husband for short) pizza because he was acting as chauffer. I also checked out two bike shops. At The Bike Depot, I rode a ‘Specialized’ with an $1100 price tag that made the shipped and zipped Townie feel affordable. At the second shop, there was a promising possibility, but I winced at its color, mauve; a shade of pink that Mother always said I looked good in.

“How much is this bike?” The salesman walked over, plopped himself on the bike, and said, “I don’t know.”

“Can I try it?” 

“Not unless you’re serious. You might scratch it.”

Leaving psycho-bike-seller behind, the tour continued to New City, NY with me wondering if ‘the huz’ was in need of refueling. Perhaps more pizza or maybe some ice cream would do it. However, as he negotiated a very intricate intersection, I forgot to ask if he was hungry, and instead inquired, “Have I ever told you the story of Harriman?”

“Don’t tell me now!” he shouted.

Finally, in New City, voila! I found a small, used, red Biria with the easiest step-through ever invented, and at a remarkably reasonable price. And so the Bicycle Ballyhoo Tour that began in the 70s, finished in 2024. We hope.

RAMONA JAN is the Founder and Director of Yarnslingers, a storytelling group that tells tales both fantastic and true. She is also the roving historian for Callicoon, NY and is often seen giving tours around town. You can email her at callicoonwalkingtours@gmail.com.