You might have a heart-dropping moment, as did I, when I saw an alarming message in my Facebook/Meta (yeah, I’m confused, too) notifications for Callicoon Walking Tours. 

Said notice went as follows:

“Important Warning from Meta:

“Your Facebook page is scheduled for permanent deletion due to a post that has infringed upon our trademark rights. We have reached this decision after a thorough review and in accordance with our intellectual property protection policies.

 “If you believe this to be a misunderstanding, we kindly request you to file a complaint seeking the reinstatement of your page prior to its removal from Facebook.

“We understand that this situation may impact your ongoing business operations. However, please be informed that if we do not receive a complaint from you, our decision will be final.

“Your cooperation and understanding are greatly appreciated. Should you have any inquiries or apprehensions, please feel free to reach out to us.

Sincerely,

Facebook Support Team”

Apprehensions? That word caught my eye. According to the Oxford Dictionary, it means:

1. Anxiety or fear that something bad or unpleasant will happen [as in] “he felt sick with apprehension”

2. Understanding; grasp. [as in] “the pure apprehension of the work of art”

Interesting choice of words, I thought, but it was too late because Callicoon Walking Tours (which hasn’t made a post all summer) had already sent this auto reply:

“Thanks for your message and inquiry about Callicoon Walking Tours. Here’s some general information: One-hour tours are booked at your convenience beginning in late May and ending in early October. Aside from general history dating from the 1600s to present, topics covered include unsolved murders, ghost stories, the railroad, changing architecture and more. All tours are by donation should you feel so inclined. Children and dogs on leashes are welcome. Please let us know if you have any further questions.”

Claiming the account was about to be suspended over a fictitious post, at first, created panic. But of course, this notice was not from Meta or FB or whatever the “page” wants to call itself.

The link I was instructed to follow (and have purposely not included in this column) would surely have led to some fake website aimed at stealing my Facebook login credentials. Just for kicks, I copied and pasted part of the letter in the search bar and found this…

“[A Facebook page scheduled for permanent deletion notification exemplifies] the grim reality of an increasingly common and convincing phishing scam making the rounds. Scammers are impersonating Meta itself and sending fake suspension warnings to trick users into surrendering their account access.”

While one phish was caught, possibly another was making itself known on my voicemail:

 “Hello and Gooday:

“ My name is Steve Harvey. And this is your secure notification phone call from the PCH headquarters located in Jericho, NY.

“ This call is to inform you that your notification letter was sent to your mailbox, and we have not yet received a call back from you. Your verification code is US551…

 “Please note that this is a certified notification that has been approved. For more information, please call us back at. One of our agents will assist you.

“Thank you for making it, PCH: The house where dreams come true.”

The house where dreams come true?

 I immediately googled PCH. Of course, it’s Publishers Clearing House! 

I’ve been getting mail from them for 40 years or more (but not this year) and in all that time have never once received such a threatening call with music, btw, playing loudly in the background.

I’m not entirely sure that the call from PCH was a phish, but I’m not interested in magazines, and so didn’t call back. Callicoon Walking Tours is still up and running, and I guess, since I never respond to PCH, my dreams will continue to be dashed.

RAMONA JAN is the Founder and Director of Yarnslingers, a storytelling group that tells tales both fantastic and true. She is also the roving historian for Callicoon, NY and is often seen giving tours around town. You can email her at callicoonwalkingtours@gmail.com.